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Two-Headed Bullshark = The End of Humanity, East Windsor Board of Finance, PEEPS Contest

Here are five things going on in the area today.

Good morning, Windsor Locks and East Windsor! Today is Wednesday, March 27, 2013; there are 279 days left in the year.

Kids, let’s talk about the greatest threat known to humanity.

Nuclear proliferation in the Middle East? Nope.

Climate change? Nuh uh.

The Harlem Shake? You’re getting warmer.

Justin Bieber? Well, yeah. But we aren’t talking about that right now.

The answer I’m looking for is: two-headed bull sharks.

Seriously, for every person on the planet, there are 1.5 million sharks. Or something like that. We’ve been able to hold them at bay with superior intelligence. But now evolution (dang you, Charles Darwin!) has given bull sharks two brains instead of one, just to eliminate us.

Peeps, we have to be ready. And by ready, I mean eliminate every last one of them. Because sharks only want to eat us. It’s a fact.

I'm not bullsharkin' you here.

Just as an aside, some people would say that my grandmother made a huge mistake letting me see Jaws 2 in theaters when I was 6 years old. And by some people, I mean everyone. But I have no idea what they’re talking about.

Here’s your Daily 5:

1. There is a public hearing on the budget hosted by the East Windsor Board of Finance at 7:30 tonight at the high school.

2. East Windsor Royce Gracie Jiu Jitsu is hosting a free SuperFit Yoga Class at 7 p.m. for all ages and abilities.

3. Wednesday is the last day to enter Patch’s Easter PEEPS Photo Contest for a chance to win some PEEPS prizes! Upload your entry now.

4. Own or manage a place in Windsor Locks or East Windsor? Claim your listing!

5. Get engaged? Make the honor roll? Have some great news to share? Announce it to everyone in Windsor Locks and East Windsor.

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