My Pregnancy Advice, East Windsor Job Support Group, St. Patrick's Day Contest

Good morning, Windsor Locks and East Windsor! Today is Tuesday, March 12, 2013; there are 294 days left in the year.

I’m certainly not the first person to write about incompetence (my own) coupled with impending fatherhood (also my own).

But I do believe there is some material to be mined concerning certain truths about pregnancy, particularly from a male perspective.

To wit, I offer the following advice:

Do -

• Answer any and all questions concerning the baby with, “I can’t wait!” Even if you can wait. Men, trust me on this one. It’ll save you hours of grief.

• Tell her she looks beautiful. This goes a long way, particularly when you shoot your mouth off about her waddling around like a penguin.

• Put up with the anecdotes about how feet are pushing into her rib cage, or how her stomach hurts because it’s expanding. The only good response to any and all of these comments is, “I’m sorry, honey. Is there anything I can do?”

Do not -

• Pat your wife’s tummy and say, “You’re welcome.” She won’t seem particularly appreciative of you if she’s in her 30th month.

• Comment about how often she has to go to the bathroom. This can result in decapitation. Yours, not hers.

• Ask if you can go to Vegas around the time the baby is due. You’d think this would be self evident. Yeah. Self evident.

Anyway, I can’t wait!

Here’s your Daily 5:

1. Today's weather report is mixed. If you're an optimist, it's going to be a wonderfully warm day — a high of 53ºF is forecast, in fact. If you're a pessimist, it'll be a wet and dreary one. There a 100-percent chance of precipitation during the day, and then a 90-percent chance tonight, according to Weather.com.

2. The national unemployment picture is still relatively bleak, but there's a local answer: Wesley United Methodist Church's job search support group, which is scheduled for today at 10 a.m.

3. How's your New Year's resolution coming along? Well, you can a new beginning and improved health can continue today with your registration for the North Central District Health Department's A.C.T.I.V.E. fitness classes.

4. St. Patrick's Day is just around the corner, and there's still time to post a picture of your lucky charm for a chance to win some Patch gear! Click here to share what keeps your good luck on track.

5. Congratulations to Windsor Locks’ Meghan Hussey for earning the prestigious Fulbright award. The 2012 UPenn grad is currently studying special education and autism programs in China.